8 Signs You May Be Codependent
Have you ever felt like you’re overly reliant on your partners or friends your emotional needs go beyond what seems normal and are you often called needy or clingy? If these questions ring true to you it’s possible that you’re codependent but what is codependency. It’s defined as excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner or friend one who typically needs a lot of support codependency can put a lot of strain on both the relationship and the individuals involved in it. So how can you tell if you are codependent this post looks at eight signs to watch out for.
8 Signs You May Be Codependent
Number One: Constant Reassurance Seeking.
Do you find yourself constantly asking for people’s reassurances asking them to tell you they love you a lot or asking if they’re mad at you constantly this sort of constant reassurance leaking can be a sign of codependency you may seek reassurance due to low self-worth and feeling like your partner is always just about to leave the relationship as you often don’t feel you bring anything to the relationship.
Number Two: Feeling Responsible for Problem-Solving.
Do you find yourself feeling it’s your duty to solve all of your partner’s problems not just that you want to help them but that you need to help them or they might leave this is another common sign of codependency it can be particularly damaging as it isn’t possible for us to fix everything for someone all the time and if your self-worth is tied up in this idea it can set you up for a big fail?
Number Three: You Can’t say No.
Do you struggle to say no to your partner regardless of what they want do you worry if you refuse to do something they’ll leave you this is another classic sign of codependency people with codependency issues can feel insecure in their relationships and feel like they’re very fragile therefore if you’ve codependency issues you may feel something like simply saying no to your partner will be enough to ruin the relationship and that they’ll leave you this can be damaging as it’s not good for us to ignore our own boundaries for others.
Number Four: You need to Avoid Conflict.
Do you find yourself terrified of conflict arising in your relationship as mentioned before do you avoid asserting boundaries as you worry about conflict that might come if you do as we’ve said often people who are codependent were either relationships aren’t strong enough to withstand arguing or conflict and that if there is any the other person will leave this fear it can often present itself as trying to strictly control relationships so that no conflict does appear.
Number Five: Would you do anything to Hold on to the Relationship?
Do you find yourself doing and saying things you wouldn’t usually do just to hold on to the relationship even if these things may be destructive or dangerous this sign is very linked to the previous two option arising due to a fear of conflict and I need to hold on to the relationship at all costs it often means you’ll ignore your own boundaries and do things you absolutely would not usually do which is dangerous for many reasons?
Number Six: You only Feel Valued when you’re Needed.
Do you struggle to feel valued as a person if you’re not fixing other people’s problems do you believe you have very little to add to a relationship if you’re not the problem solver this is yet another sign of codependency due to low self-esteem those with codependency you often feel they’re only useful to their partners as problem solvers they feel if they don’t fix every little problem their partner has that they aren’t doing enough to help and that they have no value this stems from their poor self-esteem and can also feed into their insecurities about their relationship.
Number Seven: Too Concerned with Others Feelings and Needs.
You find yourself always putting your partner first regardless of your own needs do you spend a long time preoccupied with your partner’s feelings at the expense of your own if so it could be another sign of codependency while concerning yourself with your partner is generally a normal feature of a relationship with codependency this concern goes beyond normality you’ll be obsessed with how the other person is feeling due to the need to be needed to feel valued that we just talked about this often comes at the expense of yourself a theme that’s prominent in a lot of these signs of codependency.
Number Eight: Struggling to Identify your Own Needs and Emotions.
The final sign of codependency links in with the previous one do you find that you can’t work out what emotion you’re feeling or what it is exactly you need due to the preoccupation with others and keeping the relationships alive someone who’s codependent may well struggle with actually identifying their own needs and working out their emotions.
They become so fixated on their partner they lose sight on themselves and lose insight into their own needs and wants this can lead to a whole host of issues including burnout and not looking after yourself properly we hope you enjoyed learning about codependency did you relate to any of these signs do you know someone you think might be codependent